New Years Resolutions: Setting Them Up For Success
Many of us create New Year’s resolutions with the best of intentions. However, self-doubt can easily creep in when the progress we hoped to make eventually stagnates. It’s important to remember that setting goals can be great for our mental health. However, when things don’t go as planned, our mental health can suffer as we are at risk of feeling overwhelmed with shame, disappointment and frustration. We want to remember that so much of our success in life, as well as with goal setting, is dependent on our ability to handle and navigate failure and setbacks. Below are six tips to help you get back on track to support the achievement of your goals.
Make sure you’re not living in fantasy land. Many of us get lost dreaming about our desired outcomes. We visualize how amazing life would be if we saved the money, set the boundaries or practiced that self-care every damn day. The problem with this type of thinking, is that it does not mentally prepare us for the real life hiccups, unexpected challenges and disruptions that will inevitably occur. As a result, when these challenges do come our way, we wind up personalizing the failure, as opposed to realizing our goal setting never accounted for times of hardship.
Make sure you’re being SMART. This isn’t meant to be condescending - it’s literally the S.M.A.R.T template for goal setting and it will 100% help ground your goals in reality. This acronym reminds us that goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. If you haven’t applied this template to your goals, please do. It can be incredibly helpful in making your goals actionable.
Make sure your goals are selfish. What do you really need this year? A more relaxed schedule? More time for relationships? Improved mental health? If your goal is based on external pressures that you don’t feel connected to, they won’t last (nor should they). Your goals need to be deeply connected with the internal, as research indicates that the more meaningful, purposeful and deeply connected your goals are to your identity, the more successful they will be.
Make sure you appreciate progress over perfection. We know that only 10% of people fully accomplish their New Year's resolutions, which leaves a lot of us debating whether there’s even a point. However, just because you don’t fully accomplish a goal, doesn’t mean you haven’t made incredible progress. For instance, maybe you don’t fully stop eating sugar, however you cut down. Or maybe you don’t create a perfect work-life balance, but you did manage to set some boundaries with work. This is truly a great opportunity to work through the shame of perfection and remind ourselves that progress is something to be truly celebrated.
Make sure you learn from the slip ups. It is essential to realize that there is much to learn when you blunder. This is why we normalize the statement, “two steps forward, one step back”. For instance, say your goal is to spend less time on social media, yet you find yourself scrolling more than expected. You have two options: scrap your goals and submit to your social media addiction, or explore what triggered the behaviour. Perhaps when you feel bored, lonely or tired, you reach for your device. This insight can be incredibly helpful, so that the next time you’re feeling bored, you instead go for a walk or listen to a podcast. Or when you’re feeling lonely, you reach out to a friend. Or when you’re feeling tired, you create a night routine for yourself. Again, there is so much power to be gained when things don’t go as planned.
Make sure you reach out for support. Be honest with yourself - do you have the tools to make your goals a reality? For example, if you want to get your finances in order, are you informed enough to see that through? Or would it be beneficial to read a few books or be in touch with a financial advisor? If you want to improve your gut health, is it really something you can do solo, or would it be worth it to get information from someone who specializes in nutrition? It’s OK to need support in order to make our goals a reality. We all need help navigating life. Especially if this is a part of your life that you’ve tried to work through before, without success. Connecting with someone who feels safe and supportive, who can offer you guidance and accountability is a game changer.
We hope you’ve found this helpful. The most important takeaway is don’t let the shame overwhelm you. If your goals are dearly important to you, don’t internalize that shame, when chances are your processes are failing you. And as always - do not hesitate to let us know if you have any questions - we’d be glad to help!