The Decline of Relationships

In North America, committed, intimate & loving relationships are on the decline.  In 2023, nearly half of all young adults were single: 34% of women and 63% of men (ages 18-29).  There are many working theories for why this may be.  One major contributing factor is the increasing use and dependency of dating apps, which can be problematic due to the inherent incentive structure of dating apps.  Dating app companies benefit from people staying single.  The second a single person finds the love of their life, the company stops making money.  So, companies are better off monetizing from people’s singleness, as opposed to designing an app that is psychologically designed to connect people with healthy, potential relationships. 

We’re also going through an epidemic of loneliness, in which people between the ages of 18-34 are most impacted.  This is only made worse by the reality that this generation has grown up in a world where one’s virtual presence and status is seen as more important than their real lives and genuine connections.  People are also at a higher risk of regularly connecting and catching up over Discord or Snapchat, as opposed to in person.  We glamourize people’s online persona and in doing so, disregard the beauty of life offline.  Throw in the heartache of being in lockdown for the better part of two years, the rise of porn addiction, as well screen addiction and the uptick in mental health conditions.  Add in the reality that in the West, young people are encouraged from a young age, to be hyper-independent, have crazy rigid boundaries, cancel people that don’t agree with them or validate their feelings - and suddenly, the decline of relationships all starts to make sense. 

While the ways in which we could address this issue would need to be multi-faceted, I cannot help but wonder about starting with the basics: teach people, from a young age, the importance of friendships, relationships and community.  Teach people that in large, the quality of their lives will be dependent on the quality of their relationships.  Teach people that relationships take a lot of work; compromise, forgiveness, communication, patience, emotional regulation.  Teach people that while relationships take work, it is such worthy work.  Relationships are worthy because when we have good relationships, healthy relationships in our life – we are better people.  We are healthier; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually – and we live happier more fulfilling lives.  Let’s ease up on the promotion of self; one’s money, one’s looks, one’s material success and instead, remind people of the universal truth that has reigned supreme for all of human history – relationships define the quality of your life, invest in them as such.