Re-Establishing Your Relationship With Social Media
While the majority of us understand that social media is addictive, few of us truly appreciate the toll this addiction takes on our mental, emotional and physical health. For one could argue that if we did appreciate this reality, we would see a major shift in consumers wanting to reduce and alter their relationship with social media.
The data has been clear for a decade. Social media use is linked to greater levels of anxiety and depression. After only 20 minutes of using social media apps like Facebook, Instagram & TikTok, users log off feeling more anxious and insecure. It also interferes with your physical health, as increased usage is linked with poor sleep, increased stress and less time for physical self-care, such as exercise.
In my clinical practice, it’s a real challenge to get people to change their relationship with social media. At present, 69% of adults and 81% of teenagers use social media. When I ask clients how scrolling makes them feel, their answers are in complete alignment with the research. Clients describe feeling “like crap”, “worthless”, “disgusting”, “ugly”, “like a failure”, and yet they continue to scroll, like and follow. When I push them for why they’re so hesitant to hit the delete button, they look at me like a deer in headlights. What would they do with their time? How would they connect with their friends? How would they be in the know? They genuinely fear becoming ostracized, left behind, isolated. And unfortunately, they’re entirely not wrong.
I’ve had a few clients completely give up social media and while they report feeling so much better - less anxious, less depressed, more confident, better energy – my younger clients (ages 19-24) also report feeling disconnected. It’s hard when you’re trying to connect in real life with the 81% of your peers, who are too preoccupied to connect in real life because they’re living a large part of their lives online. The struggle can feel overwhelming. However, balance can exist. Below are some recommendations for how to establish a healthier relationship with your social media:
1) Set a daily limit. 10 minutes per platform per day is a great place to start. Research indicates that people who used social media for a limit of 10 minutes per day reported reductions in loneliness and depression.
2) Detox your feed. Who do you follow? Do they inspire you? Encourage you? Educate you? If the answer is no to the above, mute, block, unfollow – do whatever you must do to protect your mental health.
3) Develop better distractions. Before going all out and deleting the apps, perhaps you spend some time cultivating other hobbies. Like cooking or baking, playing an instrument, joining a sports team. Commit yourself to creating a life that is busy and fulfilling, and naturally – you will have less time to spend online.
4) For the parents – keep your kids off devices. We know that the earlier teens start using social media, the greater impact it has on their mental health. This is especially true for females. Keep them off as long as you can possibly manage. My current goal for my daughters is 25. Wish me luck!
5) Last one for the parents – stay off the devices yourselves. For certain, maintain limits. Kids will follow in our footsteps and the more time we can mirror how beautiful life is when you live it in the moment with real people and real hobbies and in life conversations – the more that will become their norm. Model the type of lifestyle you hope they will adopt.
In conclusion, I cannot encourage enough that we ensure that we are more committed to your life offline than our online presence. Demand that your offline world be just as meaningful, if not so much more meaningful, than your online world. Ensure that you know what really matters at the end of the day – at the end of this life, because I promise you, it will not be the likes or the follows or the comments – it will be the genuine love that you’ve cultivated in your life. Focus on that.