The Harms of Hookup Culture
At the risk of sounding like an old lady shaking her fist at the sky, I think it’s important to be honest; hookup culture and casual sex at large, does more harm than good. In our exploration of the harms of hookup culture, the intent is not to be judgemental, but rather, informative. Especially because we live in a day and age where sex without strings, friends with benefits and hypersexuality is glamourized.
According to the APA, hookups and casual sex are described as brief, uncommitted sexual encounters between people who are not romantic partners or dating each other. When examining the impact of hookup culture, Canadian researchers found that 78% of women and 72% of men who engaged in casual sex regretted their decision in hindsight. People reported feeling used, as well as feeling guilty for using others for sexual gratification.
Other research highlighted that both men and women who engaged in casual sex had lower overall self-esteem scores compared with those without uncommitted sexual experiences (Paul et al., 2000). In addition, according to the National Library of Medicine, both the practice of casual sex, as well as the number of casual sex partners, are related to greater symptoms of anxiety and depression.
It’s important to remember that when we are intimate with another, our bodies release oxytocin and for a moment, we can feel deeply bonded to that person. Therefore, to be able to bond and then quickly break that bond, can take a tremendous toll on our ability to safely and securely attach to others. It’s not possible to sever people’s bodies from their hearts and minds. In short, we are wired for intimate intimacy, as opposed to an intimacy that is transactional and void of genuine connection and commitment.
In closing, while I understand that this can be a topic that ruffles feathers, I think it’s an important one. It’s a challenging conversation because we fear appearing judgemental. So instead, we smile, stay silent and nod approvingly at the hookup culture trend because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. However, the truth of it is that the trend itself is what hurts people’s mental and emotional wellness, as demonstrated by the data. Which is why when it comes to hookup culture, I think the kindest thing we can do is be honest and encourage truthful conversations.