Bounce Back
As a mental health practitioner, I naturally encourage that people learn to feel their feelings, process their emotions and do their best to care for themselves; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. That being said, it is equally important to remember that not every emotion, experience and encounter ought to be unpacked, dissected and psychologically processed. In other words, sometimes you need to let crap go. You need to not psychoanalyze every inconvenience or natural frustration that comes with being human and interacting with other humans. Life is both chaotic and beautiful; both stressful and peaceful. There’s no therapy-ing your way around this. So the best thing to do, is learn how to accept that life is inherently messy and that not every messy moment deserves all your energy, attention and focus.
Perhaps your boss sent you a frustrating email, or your partner made a snide remark, or your friends forgot to invite you to a get together. Does it hurt? Yes. Can you comment or provide feedback about it? Sure. But do you need to do a deep dive into their behaviour, your behaviour, their attachment style, your attachment style, their neglected inner child, your neglected inner child? No. Not always. Again, sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is the ability to just let things go. To accept that life is messy. People are messy. Recognizing that more often than not, people are doing the best with what they know.
Again, this does not excuse or exempt chronic bad behaviour. Give them the feedback, assert some boundaries if needed, and be sure to take care of yourself. And - learn how to shrug off life’s inevitable inconveniences. Learn how to bounce back with resilience. Learn how to give both yourself and others grace for the messy moments in life, recognizing that all of us can have hot mess moments. So long as it is the exemption not the norm, we’re good. Learn how to not psychoanalyze. Learn how to not personalize every hardship.
Why? Because you do not want to spend the majority of your life analyzing every one of life’s annoying interactions. You want to be present; you want to be active in your own life, not too busy analyzing it. You want to experience the highs and lows, knowing which battles to pick and which squabbles to let go of. This tremendous life lesson will result in you living a life that is more free, more enjoyable, more spacious. For if you, your mood and your life are no longer dictated by life’s inherent nuances, but rather is marked by your resilience to bounce back from said nuances with grace, clarity and strength - simply put, you will live a healthier, happier, more humble life. For this, your mental health will be forever grateful. Learn to let the little frustrations go.