The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule is the hardest rule, isn’t it? The rule that encourages we treat others as we would want to be treated. Ugh. It sounds so good on paper and yet it is so hard to put into practice. The Golden Rule is super easy when we have to treat those whom we really like, or really get along with, as we would want to be treated ourselves. That’s easy. The more challenging aspect of the rule is when we have to treat the people whom we do not like, with whom we disagree with, or perhaps flat out do not respect, the same way we would want to be treated.

Now, let me be crystal clear. Sometimes, the most loving and kind thing you can do with another is be very honest with them, set boundaries and not enable horrible behaviour. Loving someone should never be synonymous with not challenging the person. However, where the Golden Rule comes in, is how would you want to be challenged? How would you want to be treated if (and when) your behaviour was totally out of line? Would you want to be berated and humiliated? Or approached with care and curiousity, before a bit of honest criticism?

When I was growing up, the Golden Rule was so regularly discussed. In 2024, not so much. For both children and adults, we now speak so much more about the way we treat ourselves. For example, our self-care, our boundaries, our attachment style, etc. It seems as though we have largely lost our focus on the collective and instead have become hyper-focused on the individual.

However, the teachings of the Golden Rule ought to be remembered. First of all, it makes for better relationships. Being more conscientious and thoughtful in the ways we interact with others, especially during times of conflict, is an excellent practice. Second, it reminds us to stay humble. To recognize that we all make mistakes, we all make bad decisions, we all say things that we don’t fully understand or mean. And in such instances, the Golden Rule would encourage that the same empathy and respect we would hope to be confronted with, we ought to offer to others.

Finally, it’s good for humanity, it’s good for civilization - and I do not think I’m being slightly dramatic. Look at the world around us and ask - how different could things be if people really put the Golden Rule into practice? If people really sought to understand the other with respect and a desire to learn, even if and when there is disagreement. If people confronted one another with civility and respectful discourse, as opposed to name calling and cancelling?

Personally, I’m not waiting on the world to remember the Golden Rule and I would argue, neither should you. Be the change you want to see in the world. Because even if we never fully embody, fully perfect the Golden Rule, if at the very least, it remains a North Star, something for us to aspire to, it will likely guide us in building relationships, communities and eventually a world that is more harmonious and tolerant than the one we find ourselves in today.